I’ve heard the same thing over and over again and I’m sure you’re just as tired as I am of hearing them; “Focus on your journey”, “Everybody’s path is different”, “Stay in your own lane”, “Stop being so judgmental”, “The energy you put out is the energy you get back” etc. The truth is that seeing how you match up against other people is only natural. I get it because I’ve been there. Hell, I’m still trying to kick the habit totally and it’s a gradual process especially when you feel you are not where you are supposed to/need to be.
1). Celebrate Your Accomplishments Regularly
Yes, I know it’s hard to think about your accomplishments when you are neck-deep in feeling-sorry-for-yourself mode. Sometimes I get so caught up in the misery of thinking I’m not good enough that sweet memories of what I’ve achieved is so hard to grasp. You might be ‘winning’ in your career but the minute something triggers an emotion of envy and jealous, one can forget that in actual fact you are well on your way to similar levels of greatness and beyond. Celebrate your achievements by keeping them at the forefront of your mind – where they are accessible for those depressive moments. A daily or weekly gratitude journal is a good way to stay on top of what you are grateful for and remind you of your worth.
2). Seek Healthy Competition
Be conscious of what you envy. Even though jealousy and envy are never going to get you anywhere, if comparing yourself to other people will make you more productive and more motivated to do better, practice more, create cool stuff, finish your album, be more diligent about working out etc. then do it. There is such a thing as healthy comparisons so be deliberate about seeking them out and be conscious of how it affects you positively. When you find yourself slipping down that slippery slop of comparisons, simply take the high road and aim to be happy before it plants a seed of negativity in you. Turn it around and make it about you if indeed it is relevant to what you trying to achieve.
3). Appreciate The Journey
There’s a lot to learn on the way to being where you want to be. I have learned to accept that my journey is my journey and everything that I encounter along the way be it good or bad is to equip me for what lies ahead. I find comfort in knowing that I’m being sharpened and moulded for greatness. Endure it all because it will be worth it in the end.
4). Be Careful What You Wish For
Just because someone’s life looks great doesn’t mean that everything is peachy. Be careful what you get worked up about and focus more on what you need to be doing to get to a position of leadership, authority and inspiration.
5). Re-Read Your Goals
This point only works if you already have existing goals. It’s important to right down what you want to achieve so that you can use that as a GPS throughout the year (or for whatever time period). Making comparisons makes you doubt yourself and can also make you tempted to change your goals based on what other people are doing. That should never be the reason to change them. Change them because you feel compelled to. Make it more about re-evaluation and amendment than outright changing them. We tend to make the wrong decisions when we base them on the actions of others. Our judgements get clouded and we focus on the wrong things.
6). Don’t Envy A Partial Story
I’m guilty of placing other musicians in my mental petridish and examining their journeys through a microscope. But no matter how much I try to figure where they’ve come from and how they’ve got to where they are, I will never know the full story in detail. I realize that it’s important to remember that everybody’s circumstances at various stages of their career is different. It’s best to acknowledge that and keep it moving.
7). Filter Your Social Media Feed
Watch who you follow and be honest about the people who inspire you. You don’t have to follow everybody! You really do not. It’s your prerogative to feed your soul with what really matters to you. On the subject of comparisons – it’s ok to eliminate a consistent flow of reminders (be it pictures on instagram or snaps on snapchat) that you are not where you want to be as long as you are working on it. Working on whatever you need to work on diligently will eventually get you there. You don’t need a constant reminder about it if you don’t want it and if it doesn’t positively motivate you.
8). Don’t Be Deceived By Shiny Surfaces
Comparisons usually have to do with you comparing your interior to others’ exterior – be it appearance, money, lifestyle etc. As you can see, this is completely lop-sided. A lot of celebrities are in debt, a lot of them are unhappy with their personal lives and some of them may also be unhappy with their career choices – the same ones that you are feeling jealous of. So it takes strength to deliberately seek a healthy comparison that will boost your confidence the right way.
9). Respect Your Path
What I have realized is that you path is something that needs to be respected and not taken lightly. It’s hard to be patient but respecting your path is more to do with understanding that the things you decide to do affect not just you but other people. The big picture! The more sure you are of who you are and the goals you set, the more satisfied you will feel when you finally reach them. Going off course slows things down and spoils the journey for those that could be potentially inspired and motivated by what you are supposed to achieve but became to anxious to do and instead did something else. It’s important to remember that just because you aren’t the sun doesn’t mean you’re not a star in someone’s world. Both are still sources of light. Think about that!
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